Sensationally Single: Work on You and Love It!

Technology is a beautiful thing. With sites like twitter & facebook , I can keep up with friends I know and ones I do not. With the quick read of a status, I can quickly reach out to friends who are going through trouble. This week, it seems as though many of my fellow DIVAS (and gentlemen) are finding themselves single again.

I too am single and have been for a few years now and am loving it! But getting to that point is not easy and sometimes comes from finally realizing that you are in a season where it is better to be alone. There are sometimes (usually weekends) when it would be nice to curl up with a significant other and watch a movie and eat my fav Indian take-out. But I am more happy being single now than I ever have been.

Here are some tips to being Sensationally Single (you will have to buy The Diva Diaries in the fall to get the full list):

  • Accept You! Yes, you have flaws and guess what you are still a Diva. Acknowledge your weaknesses and work on eliminating them. But do not beat yourself up. Doing so is counterproductive and accomplishes nothing. Accentuate your best features (personality included) and be sure to downplay and work on your negative ones. This is what being single is for. This is the time to eliminate all of that extra baggage. Who wants to date someone with more luggage than the San Francisco Airport?
  • Get out of the house! It is so easy to get distracted from your goals when sitting inside the house. You say you are going to do your kick-boxing DVD but that strawberry cake you made last night is sitting on your counter. Hmmm, I guess you will do it next time. Take a yoga class or have lunch with a nearby girlfriend. It is these quick encounters that allow DIVAS to encourage each other and help each other move through tough seasons. Being single is the perfect time to set your goals and take steps toward achieving them. It is during this time that you can be somewhat selfish and not divide your time between your purpose and someone else’s. Have you started that non-profit you always said you would but got caught up in a summer romance? Have you finished that book you were supposed to write years ago? (me. LOL) What is it that you are called to do and haven’t because you were too busy playing wifey or hubby to someone who could care less about you? This is the time to do it!
  • (Date Yourself) A Long Bath. Start out the date by lighting a candle and taking a hot relaxing bath. I love to add Warm Vanilla Sugar Bubble Bath from Bath & Body Works. Stay in long enough to appreciate the relaxation but not too long–you want to avoid looking like a prune. This tip is from the chapter titled, Me, Myself & I teaching DIVAS how to date yourself. We often wait for someone to make us a candlelight dinner. I say make your own! We often wait for someone to walk on the beach with. Have you ever taken yourself  for that walk. Living in singleness is the perfect time to fall in love with yourself. If you don’t know what you like how will you be able to teach someone else? 
To my newly singles DIVAS and gentlemen believe me I understand what you are feeling. But think of this time as I time that God has set aside for you to accomplish things that you could not if you were occupied with the cares of another.

The Diva Diaries will be out Fall 2010 with more tips on how to be Sensationally Single, Date Yourself and other life lessons for DIVAS. Follow The Diva on twitter @TheDivaDiaries 

You’ve read my writing here is a chance to hear me speak about love lost, living in your season, and battling depression on Warrior Women Wine & Wisdom hosted by Ann Evanston . Enjoy! Click Here .


The Diva

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  1. This is a great commentary on the trials and benefits of singleness. Just to add a bit – there are a lot of people in relationships who are not happy and that includes married relationships. In fact, I have heard more than once from my married girlfriends, that they sometimes wish they were single. Fortunately, they are committed to their marriages and I support them in that. Yet there are myriad advantages to being single as you mentioned. Further, since God is God of the universe and all it contains, we should know, respect and appreciate that: 1) He KNOWS what is in our hearts. 2) He OFFERS healing for past hurts. 3) He WILL provide a marriage partner WHEN we are READY. Not before. 4) We are not going to die single if that is not HIS will for us. 5) HIS will, not OUR will be done. Our will makes us get into inappropriate relationshops which ultimately hurts our hearts and forces us back to square one – needing to ACCEPT healing for our broken hearts. There are no shortcuts. The process is the process and until it is completed we are destined for inappropriate relationships or singleness. ACCEPT the Lord's healing process – 'the surgery', 'the recovery', 'the physical therapy'- so that we can be as good or even better than before.

  2. Thanks for the comment! I agree Lenore. You definitely want to heal yourself and get to know yourself before you enter into a relationship or marriage. I do believe while people are waiting for "the one", they should have an active lifestyle. Take themselves to the movies, dinner, or dancing. Women should not wait for a main to come along to do those things for them. God does have a plan and everything in His time. While He makes you wait that is preparation time. Sisters need to work on being the best single women they can be. And it starts with loving yourself.

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