The Power of Presence: Knowing Your Value
There is so much power in confidence. A woman who knows who she is and where her value comes from is irreplaceable. So how does a woman own the room as soon as she walks in and leaves room for other women to shine as well? What is it about a confident woman that makes people stop when she enters a room and listen when she talks?
The power of presence is amazing. We have all seen that woman who walks in the room with such confidence and poise. We have all wanted to be that woman and some of us are. For those of us who are still trying to be this woman, we want to know how.
How do we go from WANTING to be a confident woman to BECOMING a confident woman? While there is no easy answer, a great start is to know your value. Not your monetary value. This has nothing to do with how many zeros are behind your account balance. A woman’s value is far greater than that!
So many times we are afraid of what people might think about us. Our minds are constantly filling our hearts with insecurities. The first step to knowing your value is to stop comparing your value to others. Just stop. “Her success is not your failure.” It’s great to seek inspiration from other women. I love that idea! We should all have inspiration in our lives and other women who inspire us to become a better version of ourselves. But there can be a fine line between inspiration and comparison. Make sure that you are on the side of inspiration. When you start having doubts about yourself because someone is learning something faster than you, jumping up the corporate ladder quicker or has made her goal weight before you, resist the urge to let her success devalue you in any way.
“Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7
Knowing your value will make your presence powerful. It will allow you to be confident and secure in a way that you may not have been before. Every experience you have had in life has taught you something and all of this has a value. Those experiences, also known as life’s lessons, have strengthened your character and helped you become the strong woman of value that you are today. Take confidence in those lessons. The only way that you are going to be able to sell yourself to others when necessary is to be confident in your value. I recently had an experience that I almost let discourage me and then I remembered whose child I was–God’s. And He gave me value before I was even born. I also remembered the lessons He has been teaching me over my life, especially the last few years. And all of these lessons, good and bad, those I would like to remember and those I want to forget, have strengthened my believe in myself and the direction God has for my life. So when it was time to interview for a promotion on a job that I haven’t been on that long (2.5 months), I was able to go in with confidence in myself, my experiences and the value that I bring to the table. I knew my value. I got the promotion!
Another step to knowing your value–Get around people who view you as valuable. There will always be those who view everyone as competition. Don’t take it personally. It really has nothing to do with you. Those people see you trying to be excellent, while only competing with yourself, and want to oppress you in any way possible. These people could be friends, coworkers, bosses and sometimes even family. But don’t let that discourage you. Find your tribe. The people who view your gifts and goals as valuable and who are willing to partner with you to make you better. Find those mentors and friends that see the potential in your ideas, goals, wants and needs and have no desire to compete with you. I believe that success cannot be achieved alone and surrounding yourself with people who are competing only with themselves and willing to support you while you support them is key to achieving levels of success others only dream of. If you haven’t found these people keep looking. If you are on a job where you are not valued perhaps it is time to find another job. It may sound a bit harsh to some, but if you do not move to a place (in life) where the people around you value you eventually you will start to doubt your value.
The power of presence and confidence is crucial to success. I have a whole chapter dedicated to this subject in my book, The Diva Diaries Living Through Tough Seasons.
Remember to stop comparing yourself to others, don’t let someone else’s success fool you into thinking that you have no value, and get around people who view you as valuable.
Crystal-Marie “The Diva” Mitchell