I’ve often contemplated why some of my relationships have been strained. Often blaming the other person in the process. And while they may have added to the issues in the relationship, they are not solely to blame. Whether I want to admit it or not much of the problems in my relationships have been because of me. Somewhere on this road to life, I neglected to learn how to set proper BOUNDARIES.
Ahhh…Boundaries.
I am finally learning the lesson I wish I knew years ago. In most of my relationships (especially ones with a significant other), I am a giver. I try to anticipate someone’s need and supply it. I try to point out areas where they can grow. I put them before me. When they are sick I rush to be by there side. I look for ways to keep them happy.
Then if the relationship ends sourly I wonder, “Why.” It is because those necessary boundaries were not set. There is a saying, “Do not make some one your priority while you are just their option.”
You have to take care of yourself in all relationships. Take time to evaluate if their is a mutual giving. No one is in a relationship for it to be one sided. Are you truly happy or are you trying to create a facade of happiness? Look and see if your actions are being reciprocated. Does this person (people) fill you up as much as they take from you?
Women especially are naturally wired to be nurturing. And with a nurturing spirit comes giving. But I must admit we tend to over do it. Take a step back and revaluate your boundaries. If there are none present in your current relationships, be it work, personal or family related, set some. What do you want to get out of this relationship? What do you want to give? How will you evaluate if you should continue to foster the growth in this relationship?
No one will take care of you better than you. Protect your heart. (Prov 3:23)
XOXOXO,
The Diva
